For the Kids, Should You Save Your Marriage and Mend Your Broken Heart?

In the best interest of the children, lots of couples stay together. Is it really better for the kids to see you sacrifice your happiness for them? Or to be with someone that makes you blissful is it more important for them to witness? So your children can continue to have a family, can you save your marriage and heal your broken heart?

It is my belief that you should be happy in your relationship and it is vital that your children see you in a devoted and strong relationship. Due to my parents constant fighting, is why I felt this way. My father was a pretty traditional man, with old fashion views and an appetite for alcohol. Even though my Mom was a bit more liberal, which could have been a due to her education, she was still expected to clean the house, cook dinner, drive us kids around as well as work a full-time job.

Somehow my Mom managed to run a household and hold a full time job no matter how difficult it was. Furthermore, my parents never appeared to get along whenever my Father was home as such their marriage looked like it was a continuous battle. Why they stayed together is something I could never figure out.

That is how my view of relationships formed, that the woman should be more giving and not to expect a lot in return. I believed that relationships were suppose to be trying as such you should never look forward to be happy within one and that the whole Cinderella thing was just a fairy tale.

Since my sisters and I thought parents’ relationship was “normal”, as we grew older we sought after relationships very similar to theirs. So is it better to stay together for the kids or would my sisters and I be in happier relationships if our parents had split up?

I asked my Mom very honestly a few years ago, “Why did you stay with him all those years?” when she was complaining about my Dad. Her response was “I didn't want to worry about finding babysitters and to move you and your sisters into a 1 bedroom apartment. “I believed you and your sisters were happier here, in a nice house, in a decent neighborhood.” This didn’t make sense to me as I really believe that we would have been happier if they had split up.

One of my friends is a single mom and because of this I think I may have recently changed my mind. She struggles with getting her kids school and to work on time on a daily basis. Then making sure there is someone there to pick her kids up. She can’t afford to put her kids in extra activities as money is always an issue. One of her sons had a real talent for hockey and his coache told her that she should put her boy in a hockey school and it broke her heart. She couldn’t find the money for it as the school was way too pricey. Is it fair that her little boy has to suffer? Her son might have been able to go had she salvaged her marriage.

I never realized or thought of all the things that would be lost for a child if their parents were to divorce instead of trying to work it out. Although there is no easy answer to this very common question, most child psychologists recommend trying to fix the marriage unless there is physical abuse involved. First and foremost is the safety of the kids. They also advise that the kids should never observe any excessive disagreements. And if parents find it difficult to work through their differences they may want to try working with a marriage counselor.

By rescuing your marriage and healing your broken heart, your children will grow up to have strong healthy relationships.