How to Actually Help an Alcoholic

So you want to know how to help an alcoholic without enabling them?

We really want to help the alcoholic, but in many cases we end up sabotaging their efforts because we are not allowing them to come towards a natural change in their life. How can a person know when they are acting appropriately versus when they are enabling someone? How do we know for sure if we are helping the alcoholic or if we are enabling them?

Here are some guidelines that can help us:

1) Do not give them money – This is an easy rule that cuts right to the chase. Alcoholics need money in order to drink, but you should never give them money, even if they need to feed their children. This can sound really bad for a moment but try to comprehend for a moment how devious and coniving alcoholism can be. They might have already spent their money on booze, knowing that someone would step in and not let their children go hungry. So if you happen to have given them money then instead of helping the family or feeding the kids you are merely supporting an alcohol addiction. Don't let this trick you.

2) Suggest treatment but do not threaten or force them – if you try to force the issue this will only create resentment and more drinking. Most alcoholics who are manipulated into a treatment facility do not end up staying sober in the long run. They have to want it for themselves so your best bet is to simply let them know that the option is available when they are ready for help.

3) Consider a formal intervention – think long and hard before doing a formal intervention because there is a chance that it can backfire and strain the relationship even further. That is why this is really a last ditch effort, because sometimes the intervention can make things worse instead of better. On the contrary, going forward with the intervention might be that final push that is necessary to motivate the person to make a lasting change. Actually, most interventions will turn out to be a small piece of their start on recovery….it might not grant them overnight success in recovery but it could be a part of their solution; a step on their journey.